In the Moment · An autism caregiver guide
Leave your autistic child with someone who knows exactly what to do.
Give grandparents and sitters the exact things that work for your child. Tap a moment:
Leo, age 6 · Meltdown
Do
- Dim the lights and lower your voice
- Hand him his weighted dinosaur
- Sit nearby quietly and wait
Skip
- Asking questions or saying "it's okay"
- Touching his shoulders
From Mom: Calms fastest with zero talking. Usually 10 minutes.
Example card for a fictional child.
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By Jennifer Kaufman, author of Grandparenting on the Spectrum.
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You know your child best. Now everyone who cares for them can too.
Made for families of autistic children and children with special needs. When a hard moment arrives, caregivers pick what's happening and get gentle steps made for your child.
Pick what's happening right now.
Get a few things to try, and a few to skip.
Each page takes less than a minute to read.
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A big meltdown
Screaming, collapsing, won't stop.
A meltdown is not misbehavior or a tantrum. It's a nervous system that has run out of room. The child in your care isn't giving you a hard time; they're having a hard time. Your calm, quiet presence is what helps most.
Do
- Lower your voice and get down to their level, slowly. Say one short, true thing: 'You're safe. I'm here.'
- Clear away demands: no questions, no instructions, no 'look at me.' Less language is more help.
- Stay nearby and wait it out. If they're safe, let the storm pass without fixing anything. Only intervene if they are truly in danger of hurting themselves or someone around them.
Don't
- Don't ask 'Why are you screaming?' 'Why' is a question for a calm day, not this one.
- Don't grab or hold them unless holding has helped before and they've asked for it.
- Don't take it personally. The meltdown isn't about you, and it will end.
Imagine this page with your child's own tips inside. With a profile, the grandparent or sitter sees what works for your child, right here.
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A little look inside
The screens are real. The child in them is make-believe.
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- Your child's own tips inside every guide
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Parents
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🎁 Give it as a gift, $19.99Safety notesA few honest notes before you begin
A parent comes first
If a parent or caregiver is nearby, they know the child best. Ask them before you step in. When you're on your own, these pages are here for you.
This isn't for every person
Every child on the spectrum is different, and so is every moment. These ideas help many families, but they won't fit every person or every situation.
Suggestions, not rules
What helps one child may not help another. These ideas are gentle suggestions and not hard and fast rules, so trust what you know about the child in front of you.
Never force anything
NEVER restrain, pressure, or force an autistic person to do something they don't want to do. Their safety and their say-so come first, always.
This app provides general information only. It is not medical, clinical, or legal advice, and it is not a substitute for professional guidance or emergency services. If anyone is in immediate danger or there is a medical or safety emergency, call 911.